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Story: Lenny
and the Lentils
Lenny Lentil was a little round fellow,
a generally happy sort. But he had one question, one simple burning
question.
So he turned to his brothers in a bin in the
food store.
"Brothers," he said, "If chicken is a meat, and
carrots are a vegetable, then what's a little lentil?"
Well, the brothers they shimmied and shook, they rolled and
rollicked until at last a wizened old cracked one spoke. "We're
beans," he barked. "That's what we are."
Lenny looked to his left, to a bin of big black beans. Then
he looked to his right to a bin of big red beans. "We don’t
look like beans," he said, "I'm sure that just can't be."
So he thought and he thought and at last he called out to his
maker. "God", he said, "I've never called on you before but I need you
now. If chicken is a meat, and carrots are a vegetable, then what's
a little lentil?" Well the windchimes rang and the cash
register rung, but not an answer was heard.
"God," called out Lenny again. But the wizened old lentil cut him
short. "Pipe down,” he said, "Do you want to get us all
in trouble?" Lenny shook his head. He was quiet, but he could
not stop thinking. He grew on a plant, so he wasn't an animal. He didn't have
seeds, so he wasn't a fruit.But
just then the stockboy came along and lifted up the bin.
Lenny jumped on his brothers and scrambled to the top.
"Stock boy," he called out, "You fill us up
every day, but pray tell me, what am I?"
Shocked, the stockboy stumbled and dropped the bin. Lenny and the lentils went tumbling all across the floor.
Boss Lynn ran right over. "You stupid boy," she
said to the stockboy.
"What are those?" the boy gasped, pointing at the
lentils.
"Why they're
lentils - they're a pulse, whatever do you mean?", boss Lynn
replied.
Lenny did a jig. At last he knew. "I'm a pulse, I'm a
pulse," he sang. "At last it's all come clear."
"You damn
fool," croaked the wizened old lentil, lying on his back.
"What's a pulse?"
Then Lenny's world came crashing down. "I don't
know," he said. "What is a pulse?"
"See," said the cracked old lentil, "You ask
one question and you raise ten more."
So now Lenny wanders the world, searching for his answer.
Nobody seems to know, not the stockboy, boss Lynn, or other lentils.
But should you find a tormented lentil in your soup, please stop and
help him out.
So listen up and
listen close, for I'll say it one time only. A pulse is a plant from
the leguminous family, with seeds in pods rich in protein.
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